Traddyland Group

Thank you, Lou.

When I decided to write it all down, I found myself writing with "academic rage"; that is, I wanted to find each and every possible piece of evidence that could be checked and referenced and even used the SSPX's own words to make my case, with as much clarity as I could.

I wrote Submission 153 - mine - with so much heartache for all those kids, generation after generation, who were lost - lost to suicide, to drugs, to alcohol, to the streets, or just lost.

For almost a full decade, it was all I could do to get through the next hour without ending it all.

I don't have kids and could never imagine bringing a child into this world, only for it to have me as its mother. That would have been cruel.

But I wept while I wrote, because there are too many - far FAR too many - people who I knew who have suffered, and their own children have, as well. And that suffering is all so unnecessary.

I wrote this for C*, who was groomed at 15 by a Brother in the SSPX, and went on to marry him and have five children, only for that marriage to end, and the children irreparably damaged, psychologically. She still faces harassment from the SSPX community, and she's been ostracised by her family.

I wrote it for B*, then a 15 year old, victim of her father, who was doing things to her that I can't write here. And when her mother reported it to a SSPX priest, the priest told the mother "Well, if you aren't giving it to him, where else is he supposed to get it?" Now B has children of her own, and is trying her best to be a good mother, alone, whilst still being attacked and judged by SSPX priests.

I wrote it for my own brother, now passed away, bullied almost to the point of death by a SSPX teacher. And I wrote it for my best friend who suffered at the hands of the same priest as I did, at the same time - yet neither of us had any idea.

And I wrote it for the Michael's and all those kids who are going through their own private pain today. Some of whom will never breathe a word, but will suffer in silence for the rest of their lives.

I'm all for having a belief or something to cling to - it's the thing that keeps many people on stable ground in an unstable world. But that belief should be there to bring peace and stability, not harm and judgement.

The only belief I have these days is that we, where we can, should protect the young and vulnerable. And I use my pen and my (quite frankly, ridiculous amount of) education to make change wherever, and whenever I can.

This isn't about me. It's about the children whose parents read this post. This isn't about my story; it's about making change. Lou isn't about attacking the Mass itself, he is calling out those who harm others - either by words or actions.

And yes, you may dislike what the Pope says or does, but in the end of it, all Catholics need is "The God who loves us all, unconditionally" (Leo XIV). He's not saying only some deserve God's love and protection; he is saying that all deserve God's love and protection.

I can't bear the thought of someone else living through the same darkness that I did. I can't bear the thought of someone not having someone to turn to.

I'm doing this for the kids, the vulnerable and the lost. In case I save one life. And that's all that matters to me.

Marisha

*Names withheld

Dear Dan,

Try not to judge yourself. Many people seek out groups like this, not realising that the groups prey upon people who are vulnerable. My parents were vulnerable, and sadly, the SSPX exploited that.

I hope you are healing from it, and I hope you take the time to love yourself a little. It took me far too long to give myself a break and a hug. We're taught to self-flagellate, but I think others do that too well to us, so perhaps changing that to a little love and acceptance of self is far more healthy.

Take care.

The same words from St. Paul often come to mind when I reflect on my own experiences in the SSPX, yet they ultimately serve as a reminder to all of us, not just to one particular group. Those of us who have lived in the SSPX and been hurt by it may recognize the psychological blind spots and defensive mechanisms at work more readily than those looking in from the outside. At the same time, we who have left are not immune from bitterness or bias ourselves. Taylor Marshall is not exactly an innocent victim—he spent years publicly defending the SSPX—but it still takes humility and courage to admit you may have been wrong, and I applaud him for that.

"The revolution devours its own children." ~Jacques Mallet du Pan

I think Fr. Murray doesn't fully understand the SSPX. He's an outsider that sees the pretty lace, the cassocks, the incense etc.